


These chains

by Hopeful_Foolx



Series: Whumptober 2019 [9]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Whumptober 2019, also, another fic for this fandom, kind of, spoilers for episode 25, spoilers for episode 30
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 07:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21070832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeful_Foolx/pseuds/Hopeful_Foolx
Summary: Whumptober day 9 - shackled. There is metal cutting into her wrists, and she can't talk and she can't move. She is trapped and for the first time in probably her whole life truly scared.





	These chains

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say for myself, except that I'm sorry. About a lot of things. And that I still love ya xD

The cold metal cuts into her wrists. They got sore what feels like long ago, but it is too dark to think of time down here. The manacles are not tight enough to cut the bloodflow, but they hurt. She feels the crusted blood, and how the manacles rub over fresh cuts. She can’t move. She can’t talk. Jester is trapped, and for the first time in what may be her whole life, she is actually scared. Fjord is in her cell, and maybe someone else too, but since the muting spell went off, she only heard them moan and she is not even sure it was from this cell. Fjord stays close. When they first arrive in this cell, thrown in from the cages, Yasha too far away, she doesn’t cry. She keeps a stone face, thinks of Fjord next to her. She doesn’t want him to be worried, not about her. He is strong, maybe he finds a way out of here! Or has an idea. He has other things to think about. She loses sense of time and there is not really anything worse than that. The bruises, the pain in her wrists, it’s at least distracting. Because without even time to think about or seconds to count, nothing keeps her from thinking. How long are they here now? When will the others come? What if they all have been captured? At one moment she is sure that everybody except for the three of them must have died and she and Fjord could be here a year now without knowing, and the next moment she scoots closer to Fjord and puts her head on his shoulder and crys. 

He reacts in moving himself so she is at least the tiniest bit comfortable. She wants to say so much, if she could at least talk, if she could talk to Fjord she wouldn’t be so  _ alone _ with her thoughts, but she can’t move her hands and she can’t get the gag out. She misses everything she does with her hands - she misses drawing, she misses touching anything that isn’t cold, she misses actually feeling her hands. 

The way they pushed her around, the moment they pushed her into the cell when she wasn’t able to catch herself and fell on her shoulder, unable to move for a time and there is the time again and if she thinks about it too much she wants to scream and cry and panic-

She thinks about screaming, but she is too tired. The ever so calming presence of the Traveler is gone, her magic is gone, and she feels so utterly alone in her mind that it’s driving her insane. She is trapped in a cage, bound tight, kept from everything she needs. 

She keeps close to Fjord. He is her anchor in the dark, a solid calm presence next to her, here. She can’t see him but even without eyes its his skin to her cheek and his head on hers. It’s the bare minimum of contact. She needs to be free, she needs to wrap her arms around people, she needs hugs and mischief , she needs contact, she needs to move, so badly to move- Her breathing starts to hitch and it is already restrained by the cloth in her mouth. She hears Fjord move in cloth on stone and rattling of his chains, as he nudges her slightly. She doesn’t want to sob and she doesn’t this time. It’s not hopeless as long as Fjord is here, as long as she is not alone. 

But why is the Traveller not here? The others? Why did he not come for her? What did she do? Did she make him angry? How? 

She begins to lose the hope that always burned so bright in her. The cold of the metal around her wrists seeps into her and it hurts, the cuts hurt, the cold hurts, everything hurts because her mind keeps spiraling around it, when there is nothing else to concentrate on. Nothing else to think. She tries to imagine the third person in their cell, maybe there isn’t even one and the sounds came from somewhere else, but it keeps her mind occupied for a short time, or what she thinks is short. She imagines an elven-man, someone really powerful to be kept down here with them. With beautiful long hair that never got in the way. T

But then she remembers that they’re in the same situation as she and Fjord are and she stops thinking about them, because if she doesn’t…

She keeps close to Fjord. Her hands pressed to her chessed, the manacles still cutting with sharp edges. Metal is all she smells. Fjord smells of seawater, and she tries to think herself away. She hears his breathing, some soft humming when her tears get the better of her. She sleeps without moving away from his presence.

When their friends come for them she blinks into the light and it hurts her eyes. She welcomes it. She wraps her arms around each one of the Nein she can grab as good as she can, heals the cuts and washes off the blood and she cries as when she hears what happened and talks and even if she is tired, outside she walks before she can rest and she feels trees and the wooden cart and skin and cloth and she feels the wind on her face. She lets her hands burn from the cold water and she feels and she sees. 

When they take watch that night, she stays close to the fire and the light. She soaks in the light and the red behind her eyelids, her hands free, her mind able to get occupied with everything else. 

Sometimes in the night she still wakes with a gasp, she still wakes with the feeling of metal around her wrists and a tickling sensation in her hands. 

But no matter where she is - there is either the calming presence of Beau next to her, ot the fire spending light. Reminding her that she is not alone. And free. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ^^ Maty


End file.
